Man Enough: Navigating the Dance of Tradition and 21st-Century Realities

Introduction:

In the rich tapestry of African and Nigerian cultures, the concept of masculinity- what makes a man, โ€˜man enoughโ€™ has long been interwoven with traditional expectations and societal norms. However, as we stride into the 21st century, the narrative around what it means to be “Man Enough” is evolving, creating a space for reflection and redefinition, creating a symphony that invites both men and women to dance with new steps. In this article, we explore the intersection of traditional gender roles and the changing dynamics of masculinity in contemporary African and Nigerian societies.

The Dance of Tradition and Modernity:

In many African and Nigerian cultures, traditional gender roles have assigned specific responsibilities and characteristics to men. The stoic provider, the unyielding protector, and the emotional fortress have been archetypes that men are often expected to embody. These expectations, rooted in cultural norms, have shaped the identity of men for generations. And, as the dance floor expands, the 21st-century man is finding new rhythms, challenging stereotypes, and embracing a more inclusive dance that includes vulnerability and emotional authenticity. No doubt, the 21st century brings with it a seismic shift in societal expectations. Men are increasingly encouraged to express vulnerability, nurture emotional intelligence, and actively engage in caregiving roles. The confines of stoicism are being replaced by an embrace of the full spectrum of human emotion, challenging traditional notions of what it means to be a man. Today, being “Man Enough” is about acknowledging the full spectrum of emotions. It’s about allowing vulnerability to be a part of the dance, recognizing that strength lies not just in resilience but in the courage to express one’s feelings.

The Dance of Mental Health and Masculinity:

In this evolving dance, mental health is a partner that can no longer be ignored. With data showing that men are four times more likely to die by suicide and more likely to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, substance use disorder, anti-social behaviors etc., one of the most significant shifts in the contemporary discourse surrounding masculinity is the acknowledgment of men’s mental health. The stigma surrounding mental health issues is gradually being exposed as men are encouraged to seek support, share their struggles, and prioritize their well-being. Being “Man Enough” now includes recognizing and addressing mental health challenges. However, while men are being asked to pay attention to their mental health, society expects them to know how to, after all, they are โ€˜menโ€™ and they should have things under control, they should know how to fix their emotions. And if they donโ€™t, they are not โ€˜man enoughโ€™ by 21st century standards.

Redefining Protector and Provider role:

Traditionally, success for men was often measured in material terms โ€“ career accomplishments, financial stability, and societal status. However, the 21st-century man is rewriting this narrative, valuing personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a work-life balance. The definition of success is becoming more nuanced, emphasizing holistic well-being over societal expectations. Men can show up as protectors by actively listening, empathizing, and being present for their loved ones. Providing emotional support becomes as vital as providing material. For example, in the realm of family life, the role of fathers is undergoing a transformation. Modern fathers are actively involved in parenting, breaking away from the stereotype of distant and uninvolved figures. Shared parenting responsibilities are becoming the norm, fostering healthier family dynamics. Society must be patient with men and give them the support they need with empathy and kindness.

Tips for Healthy Masculinity:

1. Embrace Vulnerability: Being “Man Enough” means embracing vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness. Communication is key. Share your feelings and concerns with your loved ones. We must learn each other’s dance steps! Men and women can better understand each other’s perspectives by engaging in open and honest conversations about expectations and concerns.

2. Prioritize Mental Well-being: Take proactive steps to maintain your mental health. Seek professional help when needed, and encourage open discussions about mental well-being within your family.

3. Define Success on Your Terms: Challenge traditional notions of success. Define success based on your values, personal growth, and the well-being of your family. Ditch the blame game, take responsibility for your growth and give yourself time to achieve these goals.

4. Actively Participate in Parenting: Engage in shared parenting responsibilities. Actively participate in the emotional and physical well-being of your children.

5. Support Emotional Expression: Create an atmosphere where expressing emotions is not only accepted but celebrated. Encourage vulnerability and provide a safe space for everyone to share their feelings regardless of their gender.

6. Celebrate the Diversity of the Dance: Embrace the uniqueness of each gender’s dance. Recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of masculinity or femininity. Letโ€™s learn to share responsibilities, support each other, and work together to create a harmonious dance.

Conclusion:

As we navigate the delicate balance between tradition and modernity, the concept of being “Man Enough” is undergoing a profound transformation. Embracing vulnerability, prioritizing mental health, and redefining success are all crucial components of this evolving narrative. It is not a rejection of tradition but an acknowledgement that masculinity is a dynamic, multifaceted identity that can adapt to the changing needs of society. Being “Man Enough,” is a dance that invites both men and women to co-create a rhythm that celebrates authenticity, resilience, emotional intelligence, a shared responsibility, and a celebration of the diverse expressions of masculinity in the 21st century. Therefore, in the dance of life, let’s encourage each other to dance boldly, embracing the evolving rhythms with grace and understanding.

–ย  Dr Chris Abojei (Founder/COO PsychAid EAP | Workplace Wellness Specialist | CEAP, Licensed Psychologist | Elevating corporate mental health.)

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